tech ___ gossip ___ facts . . . . . . magazine

Sunday, 24 July 2011

What's In A Name?

A pair of 18 year old twins are suing their parents for naming them "Foo" and "Bar" in a case that's attracting much discussion within the tech community. The twins are claiming that being named after metasyntactic variables undermined their sense of self-worth to the extent that it constituted neglect, leading them to embark on a self-destructive spiral ultimately ending in the ritual sacrifice of several open source Java libraries and an experimental database embryo.

The move has been applauded by campaigners who believe that computer programmers should be prevented from reproducing unless they pass a personality test in which they must watch a person operating a PC with the Windows Vista operating system installed on it without openly scoffing.

The Association for Buddhist Coders (ABCs) have rejected the twins' claims of abuse, arguing that the use of placeholders as personal names should ultimately have instilled in them a clear understanding that self is an illusion.

The twins' parents have yet to comment on the matter, mainly on account of the fact that they've been housebound since before the birth of their offspring due to chronic agora-anthropo-ambulophobia compounded by being really fat and lazy.

1 comment: