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Friday, 25 June 2010

Point Blank?

TableLeg Inc. co-founder Stevin Plaster is becoming known more for his somewhat baffling development projects than for the universally lauded productivity software that made him famous. PlumpMyApps is his latest release, and has been accompanied by the usual unquestioning rejoicements on the TL fanboards. Only thing is, no-one seems to know what it's for. The following is an excerpt from an interview with the man himself in Pliableware Review:
"It's basically a kind of programming yeast for applications lacking the requisite thrust in either data, structure or both. It's particularly well suited to companies who adopt any of the Nubile development models, and who don't mind a little excess gravy in among their variables."
Well? Answers on an e-card...

Monday, 14 June 2010

New Kids on the Block

A Web service is helping new parents to choose search engine friendly names for their children. ConnectaChild offer a number of Internet services to expectant parents who want to make a head start on their offspring's social networking efforts. These days it's difficult for young people to get noticed, and of course we all want the best for our kids. To this end prospective parents are accumulating huge numbers of friends for their unborn babies on Facebook and other networks, with child protection agencies becoming increasingly worried that the parents of newborns with only few friends at the time of birth may be more likely to consider giving the children up for adoption, after all who wants a friendless child?

A controversial site has recently begun showcasing in-utero ultrasound images and videos, with visitors being given the chance to vote and comment on the best (and worst) on show. In a trial version of the site, the comments on one nearly-child's video read 'what a total fucking loser' and 'you make me want to vomit my own internal organs you useless little shit', prompting fears that the practise may be potentially damaging to the self-perception of the pre-born involved.

Last month a notorious website was closed down by police after complaints triggered an investigation. The site allowed visitors to vote on whether or not fetuses should be aborted, based on pictures of them. Expectant (and undecided) mothers posted the ultrasound images and signed a contract binding them to the decision made by voters, with the termination procedures paid for by the website. Authorities were alerted by reports of disgruntled site users pursuing legal action against mothers who had failed to abide by the public vote.

Monday, 7 June 2010

Dearest Diary

Maz Lantek has been affording us tech people a glimpse of life at the ultimate forefront of aspirational geekery for not one but three consecutive years through his blogish postings on the web-facias of varying media outlets. This week he's publishing an exclusive diary entry on BrainDeadAir, right here, right fuckering now.

Tue 8 Jun, approaching dusk
Tried the new lickable version of the iPad today, tastes like pure unadulterated coolness.
mL x