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Monday, 20 September 2010

Transformers: Coders in Disguise?

Fat, beardy and lacking in every area other than computer skills? Have your geekery effectively neutralised through an upcoming Internet make-over show in which participants undergo a process of "sexy refactoring". Those chosen to appear in the live finals will be subjected to a series of tests before one is crowned the winner, having replaced all prior aspects of his personality with a vague interest in popular culture and a taste for effortlessly stylish clothing, both of which of course render the male eminently more fuckable in an instant.*
*At first glance and from a distance of 5 or more miles.

Prospective candidates are warned that their earning potential, sense of humour and interest in anything other than themselves may be significantly impaired as a result of the SexyFactoring procedure. You probably still won't get any women either. However, you will be on an Internet television show. Watched by a handful of idiots. You do get to keep the new clothes though. For the rest of the day. On the whole it's probably ill advised. Although there is free food. Crisps anyway.

Monday, 13 September 2010

Spitting Images?

Had it with inconsistent Screengrab Optimising Facilitators that persistently hog your computer's Realistic Slipshod Memory? Finnish software house Definition Excellents Ltd's forthcoming Batch Friendly Incendiary Vision Heightening platform, PicSys, is currently being made available at Beta stage for developers to take a sneaky peek under the framework's proverbial algorithmic underskirt. Only drawback is the download's exclusively available via osmosis so bad luck for those of you who aren't sufficiently porous - you'll just have to make do with Illuminative Strand Administration for the moment...