Time is Money

Toragg Inc's controversial new tablet computer is being released today to a tumult of sanctimonious contempt on the part of the mainstream press. The device is programmed to begin administering electric shocks to the user if they attempt to continue using it for a period in excess of 6 months, effectively forcing the buyer to upgrade. The release follows the news that next generation iPhones will automatically send out preset abusive messages to the entire contact list of those owners whose music taste is below par or who have fewer than 50 friends on Facebook.