Rotten Apple?

Apple have responded to reports of the total inability of the latest iPhone to carry out successful phone calls with the claim that the fault lies within the minds of disgruntled customers. In an alleged irate email to the editor of a publication which had reported the story, Steve Jobs is said to have exclaimed: "if you must know we've been including a feature since the very first iPhone that prevents the phone from functioning correctly if it's being held by someone who either sweats profusely or has bad skin - frankly I have no interest in retaining their custom so they can fuck right off".