Safe New World

Industry insiders believe Apple is developing a new computing device that will be completely unable to browse traditional websites. The device will instead allow users the significantly more fulfilling experience of viewing a set of specially designed iSites, which will be of a superior quality to normal websites, in every way that matters, according to the recently compiled Appleness Constitution, that is. The move is being read as an exploratory measure in establishing the level of participation that might be expected for the reported upcoming development of the iSland, a tropical paradise nation to which selected consumers will be able, at a small cost, to emigrate. The state is expected to comprise a benevolent dictatorship of gadgets, and citizens will be given free cosmetic surgery on arrival to make them appear quirkily creative while approachable, and of course shit-staggeringly gorgeous.