Hold the Phone!

Apple have announced an exciting new development to be featured in next generation iPhones. The facility, being named iDialogue, is reportedly going to make it possible for iPhone users to make and receive telephone calls, during which they can engage in conversation while potentially touching their iPhones and even holding them to their ears if they wish. Fans are of course understandably overcome with emotion at the news, just when they thought the iPhone simply couldn't get any more amazing...

Google Translate Tool Infected with Sarcasm

The Google translation tool has reportedly been hit by a virus rendering its results significantly more sarcastic. The Google translator is used within many websites across the globe, to make Web content accessible to speakers of more than 50 languages. However, reports from Internet insiders suggested that the tool was recently hijacked by attackers hellbent on making people feel slightly confused and possibly belittled by the textual content translated by the tool.

The Web giant initially seemed reluctant to comment on the reports, perhaps due to concern over links of the news to outbreaks of violence in America, a country whose culture has been accused by many of lacking in irony appreciation. An official Google spokesperson finally acknowledged the incident today:

"We do have evidence to suggest that the Google Translate resource was partially compromised over the past weeks, in a way that has rendered translated content snide and patronising, humorous in only a minority of cases. We would like to take this opportunity to apologise to those users who have been intimidated or confused by these sarcastic translations, and to reassure them that it is in fact the lowest form of wit, and no reflection on their own level of intelligence."

It is hoped that the outbreak of sarcasm in the Google translator will be addressed and resolved as quickly as possible, as scientists believe any further increase on the already significant risk of misunderstanding in electronic communications could ultimately lead to war on a global scale.