Own The Process

Developers at this month's Patsch fair were treated to a sneak preview of the Banana Sandwich Inc Tabularmous Suite, 'the software that takes the agony out of bi-factual incendiary algorithmic composition'. The much anticipated release will finally see the last of TackyType, and hopefully put to bed those rumours of a Pam Pam XI reunion...

Think of a Number

How many days in the week? 11R4t-*i', or 7 in decimal...

A previously unknown numbering system has been discovered in the Patagonian Desert. Magentary is truly unique: where binary uses base-2, and decimal uses base-10, what base does Magentary use? - pink. That's right, it's a rose-based system, something the mainstream scientific community previously believed impossible. Dr Timothy Spatula of the Oblong Research and Discovery Institute:

"Just when you think you've seen it all, number-wise that is, along comes a fucking big magenta number 5 and gives you a good hard kick in the balls".

The last great numerical discovery occurred just 15 years ago near a remote village in the Bavarian Alps, when a small child found a particularly random integer that had been hidden in a disused refuse tank by her mathematician uncle during the Second World War, in the hope that the Nazis would never get their hands on it. The news follows a high profile court case regarding a set of extremely rational numbers that were found stuck up a drainpipe in Cornwall.